You know that it is going to be one hell of an Easter when the alarm goes off and on the radio is none other than Samantha Fox with a blast from the way-too-distant past singing her denim-clad buns off, exclaiming one of the most relevant truisms of all times. “Naughty Girls Need Love Too!” Oh, a smarter phrase was never uttered by Congress, let along an 80’s pop star who was revered enough at one time to actually get her boobs insured. I mean, you know you have arrived when you are bold enough to get your Boobs insured. J-Lo doesn’t have that. Marie Osmond doesn’t either. I mean sure, both Marie and J-Lo can totally beat Samantha in a cage match when it comes to who has the bigger hair extension collection (I think Marie might even upset Jenny from the Block in that battle), but neither of those ladies can pack the wallop that Samantha’s 36 D hooters had when she was wowing stadiums in the 80’s with her string of average but catchy hits that stay in my head to this day.
And nothing says “Jesus has Risen” like the recollection of that accompanying video where Samantha had pink hair long before “Pink” did and was intently seducing the camera in front of a graffiti-sprayed playground in the projects backed up be a gang of gay men dancing in suspender pants trying their best to look tough as they lip synched behind her this simple coming of age tale of a slutty-girl-turned-doe-eyed-lover. I mean, we have all been there before, right? Just ask your mom. Of course she might not have had the back-up dancers. Or the graffiti wall. Or the 6 thuggish black guys who are singing 1-part harmony back-up about 30 paces away from the rest of the action, but if there is any time of year that drives this point home, it is Easter.
Remember, Jesus was hob-nobbing with Mary Magdalene, and the word around the trailer park is that she too had seen her share of episodes behind the dumpster, not unlike Miss Fox. Mary was the devoted type by all accounts. She was one of these gals that you might see at the back road Honky Tonk on an off night. Singing just a bit too loud, and definitely off-key. She’d have a row of empty beer glasses on the table in front of her and her fringed purse slung across the back of a chair with half its contents spilling out onto the floor. But of all the people in that bar, she would be the one you would most want to hang out with. Sure she was kind of a wreck, but doesn’t that make you look a wee bit better? Plus, at the end of the night, she’d be the one who would make sure you got home safely. And she probably would have paid for the drinks to boot.
And what did she want in return? Not much; just someone to love her in a way that she hadn’t felt during any of a host of encounters she had with the Disciples and a few random Apostles after that Pot-luck supper that ushered in some terribly dry biblical summer. Then along comes Jesus. He said, “Mary, I know you have a reputation, but I’m going to love you just the same.” It wasn’t love in the way we all have grown accustomed to on some of them afternoon stories starring Susan Lucci. It was a different kind of love. Not physical. Just love. It was nice. It made her feel more respected than anything that Joseph’s 12 brothers might have tried at a barn dance. It was that kind of adoration that makes you feel like a little girl inside. And so she became devoted.
Heck, she even washed Jesus’ feet with her hair at one point. Now tell me you wouldn’t just kill to have someone that was that devoted to you. She was there at the end of it all. When all the Disciples had run away because they couldn’t seem to get their Big Boy Pants on in front of Jesus, there was little Mary Magdalene saying “I got your back!” And when that famous stone rolled away Easter Morning, who was sitting at the front of that cave waiting for some good news? Well, it wasn’t Marie Osmond, that’s for damn sure. It was Miss Mary Magdalene. And she was probably wearing a Samantha Fox concert t-shirt. And she probably had a basket full of Candy and Easter Eggs just ready to make old J.C. hunt for them as soon as his eyes got accustomed to the light again after being in that cave for them 3 days.
I’ve heard that phrase, “those among us that are the hardest to love are the ones that need our love the most.” It’s true. There is no challenge in being neighborly to those people that you like. It is the people that you look at in disgust that really deserve another glance. I know, some people are just assholes! But I bet if we all take a second this Easter Sunday, no matter what you believe in, and just look for that person in your life that is the least desirable. Look for the one that pisses you off the most, the one that you never see eye to eye with, the one who says one thing to your face and then another behind your back, the one that borrowed your Samantha Fox LP and never gave it back. That is the person this Easter that might need a little kindness. That is the person who will be most surprised to hear from you and you might find becomes a little more devoted to you. That is the naughty girl who just needs a little love too.
Let today be the day that you reconnect with someone that you intentionally tried to forget about. Share a memory with them or a laugh or maybe a colored egg. Bite the ears off of a chocolate bunny together. Forgive a little. It will do all of our hearts some much needed good.
And put on your Suspender Pants! I hear they are making a come back.