So I have had the most amazing adventure since I have been here in Scotland. I have been on TV, I have done my show, I have hosted a Piano circus, I have danced in a church with 500 other people, I have enjoyed 4 star cuisine, and during it all I have been drunk as a sorority girl the night after she rolls out of a VW bug behind the Shop-Rite without the Sunday Coupon Circular. Just tragic!!!!
The other night, I went to the most fabulous little restaurant by the theater and the owner, kind as he could be, brought a magnum of Champagne over to our table. Now, I assure you, I had never heard of a bottle of champagne being called a magnum. I had always gotten ‘magnum’s’ from behind the counter at the 7-11, but this was an experience that just overwhelmed me.
And then I ran into some lesbians that had seen the show the night before, and they actually had a drink sent over to my table. Now I had seen one of them James Bond movies when he had sent a drink over to a pretty lady, and she ended up having sex with him. Since these were ladies sending over the drink, I had to consult my bible before I made a move. And sure enough, I found some passages that said I don’t have to do a 007 with these ladies, so I just raised my glass, looked over at their table, and licked my lips. It was good enough for them, and so it was good enough for me!!!
I hope that, wherever you are, that you are raising your glass that some lesbians bought and licking you own lips