On the Road again!

As a matter of fact, Cleveland really does ROCK!!!

I started the second year of the tour in Cleveland, Ohio.  Now I wasnt sure what that was going to be like since I have never been here before, but you know what?  I am having a blast!  The audiences have been fun, the tickets have been selling, and I have enjoyed myself more than a Wisconsin-er enjoys his cheese, but without all that bloated gassy feeling one can get.

Cleveland has great people, the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame, and a hotel with a giant revolving door that we keep playing that “Run in a Circle” game when I get into it and end up scaring all the children that see me get stuck in it every single time.

ahhh, the little things we do to entertain ourselves on the road.

I hope that, as we near our 150th show on the road, that I get the unique privilege again this season, to touch another few thousand people and make everyone smile and think differently about what you are capable of and what it means to stand up and realize your own power and importance in your life and the lives of those around you.

How lucky am I to be able to do a job like this.

I look forward to seeing you in your city soon.

And starting off with the great people of Cleveland and their fantastic hospitality really drives the point home:  Cleveland does indeed Rock!!

I Love Scotland and its Lesbians

So I have had the most amazing adventure since I have been here in Scotland.  I have been on TV, I have done my show, I have hosted a Piano circus, I have danced in a church with 500 other people, I have enjoyed 4 star cuisine, and during it all I have been drunk as a sorority girl the night after she rolls out of a VW bug behind the Shop-Rite without the Sunday Coupon Circular.  Just tragic!!!!

The other night, I went to the most fabulous little restaurant by the theater and the owner, kind as he could be, brought a magnum of Champagne over to our table.  Now, I assure you, I had never heard of a bottle of champagne being called a magnum.  I had always gotten ‘magnum’s’ from behind the counter at the 7-11, but this was an experience that just overwhelmed me.

And then I ran into some lesbians that had seen the show the night before, and they actually had a drink sent over to my table.  Now I had seen one of them James Bond movies when he had sent a drink over to a pretty lady, and she ended up having sex with him.  Since these were ladies sending over the drink, I had to consult my bible before I made a move.  And sure enough, I found some passages that said I don’t have to do a 007 with these ladies, so I just raised my glass, looked over at their table, and licked my lips.  It was good enough for them, and so it was good enough for me!!!

I hope that, wherever you are, that you are raising your glass that some lesbians bought and licking you own lips

I’m in Scotland!!!!

Hey there,

Sorry for the long delay.  I have been traveling like a fiend for the last month in Europe.  That is actually outside of America.  I had to get a passport and everything,

I am in Scotland now doing my show for the Scotland-y people and having so much fun.  I have gotten quite good at understanding their funny language and drinking pints of beer as they call it.  It is adorable.  You have never seen anything as small as a pint in your life.  It is TINY!

And after this, I am going to do 2 shows in Rehoboth Beach Delaware on the 9th of September and then the second year of my national tour starts in Cleveland at the end of September.

For tickets and show info and cities, go to the updated website, http://www.DixiesTupperwareParty.com  and click on the list of cities on the right hand side.

Here are just a few pics from my trip here so you can see the craziness and the energy that is around here in the UK.

Hope to see y’all soon

Dixie

Me standing next to me by the theater entrance.

This is a theater called the Udderbelly. It's a purple Cow!

Jubilee is a-comin’

Well, everyone, I cant tell you how grateful I am for a good first year on the road with the show. I have had such a blast running all over the place and telling people about food storage.
Some people have been a little ticked off, but the vast majority of people have been downright neighborly.
I really have enjoyed getting a taste of this great nation. And it has only just begun!!

But now, down the business. The Jubilee Convention is Orlando, Florida is only 2 months away, and June marks the final month for getting all my sales in to qualify for the big awards night in Personal Sales.
Right now, I am quite a ways behind the Top seller. In fact, I am hovering around #12. Oh, that just scared the liver out of me when I heard it.
So I need everyone’s help to at least get me to be part of the Top 5!
If you go to my website and click on “Buy stuff, hookers.” It will take you to a whole world of Goodness. You can get some Tupperware right there. Click on it, order it, and get it in the mail, and then do a fantastic little dance when the Fed Ex guys shows up at the door.
In fact, there is a BBQ Set that is perfect for Father’s Day which is an absolutely unbelievable deal.
$65 for literally tons of wonderful crap.
If I just sell 1000 of those, I am IN!!

Now you may laugh, but you dont know how hard of a worker I am.

I will be tracking my progress here so you can keep up with me if you want. I am determined to dazzle that stage when I walk out in my ball gown for the Jubilee!

Send the info to your friends if you are feeling inspired to help a sister out.

And check back in mid-July as we start to post the schedule for next season’s performances of “Dixie’s Tupperware Party”.

For now, just go to the site and click around.

http://www.DixieLongate.com
And thanks for your generous support both with this and throughout the year as I have been blessed enough to come to your town

Smooches
Dixie

One more hour each Day!!!!

I dont know about you, but I, for one, am so excited that I get an extra hour of daylight each night.  I mean, it doesnt really do me a lot of good personally because I am usually in the theater at night so I cant enjoy it, but it will certainly enable people to see in order to get their cars parked easier so they can come to my Tupperware Party on time and get some good creative food storage solutions.

I cant believe I have now been on the road for 7 months talking Tupperware all over the country.  And this is just the beginning.  I have been able to meet people from 6 different states and 10 different cities and I think it is safe to say that I have met someone in every town that has pissed me off.

But more importantly, I have met alot of great people too.  I have sat on more laps, taken more pictures, slugged down more cocktails, and been given more phone numbers on napkins in the parking lot of local bars than I ever though possible.  That makes me love this great country even more than I thought I possibly could.

But it is the kind comments that I get after each show that mean the most to me.  I really do love it when people come up and tell me a little bit about themselves.  Or share a story about a Tupperware party they once went to, or even that their momma used to sell Tupperware.  It always warms me in my no-no place to hear stories like that.

Of course, give me 4 minutes and some distracting hooker trying to replace a cracked bowl, and I forget all about that wonderful tale of nostalgia that someone told me moments earlier, but later on, when I am lying in bed and flipping through the enormous number of bad reality television shows providing me entertainment every night before I pass out,  sometimes I get a flash in my mind and I remember the image of someone smiling at me during the Tupperware party that night and telling me about their mom who once sold it or that they used to have a favorite piece of plastic in their kitchen or under their bed.  And I must admit, I get a little giddy.

And then, like watching a movie in fast forward, I flash through dozens of times over the past few months that people have shared similar stories and, boy, does that make me glad that I do what I do.  And the more time I sit with that every night before I go to bed…

The happier I am that I just got that extra hour.

Sleep well…

I know, I know. I’m tardy

Well, it has been way too long since I have posted, but I am getting back up on the horse and promising to be alot more on top of things in 2009 with my blogging and my drinking.  I figure the more I do of each, the more creative I can be.

The tour is going well.  I have been in city after city and I am having a blast.  Of course some times, the audiences dont know what to make of me.  And in some rare occasions, there have been some people that have been overwhelmed by my beauty and have had to leave the show.

Sometimes they are quiet and sometimes, they are like this horrbile man in Melbourne, FLorida that made everyone painfully aware that he was having a horrible time and walked out in a huff.  Of course he waited till about 75 minutes into the show before walking out, which is longer than some of the men I have dated.  And I wonder to myself,  what the hell are you doing sitting there for so damn long.  Get out!  Stop making everyone else feel uncomfortable because you are a bastard-ass.

Am I right.

It is all about personal responsibility.  And if something makes you uncomfortable, like too many goats at someone’s wedding, or that odd kind of candy in the dish by the bed of that person that you met at the bar last night and decided to spend the night because you lost your cab fare when you were dancing next to that lady in the tube top who couldnt possibly have gotten any money out of you since she aint got no pockets, but you still have your theories anyway of what she did with it, well, then dont stay , just get up and leave.

But 2009 isnt about leaving.  it is about finding the power to stay.  It is about sticking it out even when the going gets tough.  It is about changing your attitude so that when all seems to be crumbling to crap-crackers around you, you still can hold your head up high and smile.
Cause remember, in this troubling economy – SMILING IS FREE!!!!

Well, I cant wait to love you all even more than I did in 2008.  Thanks to all y’all who have come out to see the show as I am traveling around.  And trust me, I have miles to go before I sleep.

I have a week and a half in Mesa, AZ still so come on out and see me.

After that, I will be in Ft lauderdale and Aurora, IL and North Carolina. and other points east.

Gather up your friends and lets have some fun!

Happy new year

Dixie

PAY ATTENTION

We have one more week in Madison, Wisconsin before we get to go to lovely West Palm Beach, Florida.

This was on the side of a church in Tucson

 

I found this on the side of a church when I was in Tucson, and I was truly amazed.  I learned a whole new thing about the Lord.  Who knew that some of what I did in the bedroom was approved by the Jesus’ dad. 

I mean, here all this time, I thought I was sinning. Turns out that God might have a leather vest and some chaps with the butt cut out in them hiding under his bed, too.

Naughty Monkey.

Puppets and Plastic, Oh My!!!

 

Even the gang from AVENUE Q came understands the benefits of food storage

The cast fof the tour of AVENUE Q came to my party and they were the nicest group of people that I didnt even have to have sex with to get them to smile.

These are members of the cast, the crew, and some of the musicians.  There is even a puppet here, you just probably cant see where it is.  Here is a hint;  Why is Dixie smiling!!!!

I just hope that they have as much success on their tour as I am having. In my show, you actually get to touch the plastic.  Maybe they should take a lesson from me and let people shove their fist into a puppet’s backside.  It might make people more interested in their program.

Buy some Tupperware at the party

 

Sell, sell, sell, Des Moines, Des Moines, Des Moines

Hey there,

Dont forget y’all, you can actually buy some Tupperware at each show.  Here is a woman rimming one of the bowls to test it out in Des Moines, Iowa.

Hey, did you know that Des Moines means “Of the Moines.”  My friend Dan told me that.

It’s French.

Everywhere they go, they will always think of me

 

Two very Fashionable lady friends after the Party

Look how pretty these gals become just by standing next to me and wearing some shirts that talk about the party.  This is Chris and JanSusanKatie from one of the parties in Tucson.  So sad about her name, isn’t it